We have a huge passion for helping women avoid relationships with emotionally unavailable, controlling or narcissistic partners. Prevention is key and knowledge is power”
Gemma & Justine
Live a full life with love and connection
Hi, Justine and Gemma here. We are both clinical psychologists, schema therapists, and dating/relationship coaching with over 20 years of experience. We use schema therapy to help people overcome the psychological and emotional barriers to living their lives fully with love and connection being an important part of that. If you want to know more about schema therapy check out our podcast.
The Red Flag Project has been a 17-year journey for us. It’s a passion-project that has arisen out of our own experiences in love and relationships and in our work with hundreds of women.
Here’s a 10-second summary of our 17-year journey that eventually resulted in the launch of The Red Flag Project and a life-long mission to help other women also find relationships with emotionally available men.
Our mission is to help other women!
Seventeen years ago, we were struggling too. Dating was a nightmare and we were feeling hopeless and exhausted faced with the seemingly impossible task of finding the proverbial needle in a haystack – a lovely, emotionally available guy who wasn’t scared of commitment.
This consumed us – hours and hours of dissecting dates and using our professional knowledge to understand why we kept attracting emotionally unavailable men. We also undertook hours of our own therapy and self-development to understand more.
Our passion for schema therapy (and understanding the traps of Schema Chemistry!) arose out of this pursuit – discovering how our schemas and coping styles were keeping us stuck being attracted to unavailable men was a revelation and really set us on the right track.
This notwithstanding, there were days when we had to really push on despite the turmoil because giving up was not an option – we both wanted a partner and family.
Lucky we had each other!
Giving up is not an option!
Fortunately for us, our self-development, persistence and strategy finally worked! It wasn’t easy or quick. We had to tolerate being ghosted, stashed, breadcrumbed and rejected. But, eventually we found our current partners (we always joke with them that they have passed rigorous testing!).
Persistence and strategy work!
As we were muddling through our dating dilemmas and schema triggers we saw the same struggle in our clients. We realized that we were now in a unique position to help them too!
So we applied what we had learnt from our own experiences, coupled with our professional know-how, to their dating problems. And guess what! It worked for them too!
We have a huge passion to help women choose emotionally available men.
We just love what we do!
Since then we have helped hundreds of women problem-solve why they keep attracting unavailable, inconsistent, avoidant, detached, narcissistic or controlling men and have provided them with our framework to do the EXACT opposite.
We find it so exciting to see women undergo a transformation from feeling hopeless and powerless to optimistic and empowered.
To emerge from feeling unsure and unassertive to having boundaries and self-respect.